Men’s Mental Health Month takes place in June. This month is designed to help break the stigma around male mental illness and encourage men to seek help and be open about their mental health.
In a male-dominated Southern sport such as NASCAR, mental health is often not prioritized. This is the final of three articles spotlighting drivers who have been open about their mental health: Cody Ware.
Ware has run full or near-full schedules for Rick Ware Racing in four of the past six seasons and is currently competing in his third full-time season driving RWR’s No. 51. In 149 starts, all for RWR, he has earned one top-5 and two top-10s.
First Opening Up
In 2018, Ware revealed publicly that he struggles with depression and anxiety. He also shared that doctors have diagnosed him with Asperger’s Syndrome.
Asperger’s Syndrome is a neurological condition that affects social interactions and behaviors. Some of the primary signs of Asperger’s included difficulty picking up on nonverbal social cues, difficulty with having conversations, and a deep need for repetition in routines and interactions.
In recent years, medical professionals have largely stopped using the term Asperger’s syndrome as a separate diagnosis because of challenges in distinguishing it from other forms of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Instead, what was once diagnosed as Asperger’s is now generally classified as ASD Level 1.
“Most of you that know me now through racing probably haven’t seen much of this. I am extremely insecure & self conscious, going out makes me extremely anxious and causes panic attacks,” Ware wrote. “Thankfully with the help of medicine and therapy and admitting who I am has helped tremendously.”
“If I could pinpoint a moment where I feel like I stopped seeking help was when I was at a psychiatrist and discussing my depression and anxiety, she told me that it was just the Aspergers and that I was just upset that I was different and couldn’t handle social situations,” Ware continued. “I’m not an expert but I do know that she obviously didn’t realize how suicidal I had become.”
Following a hiatus from racing in 2015, Ware attempted suicide. Due to these struggles, Ware barely recognized himself. The at the time 22-year old made a vow to better his health and advocate.
“If there is one thing I can do it is be honest with myself and everyone,” Ware wrote. “If I can help people feel like they aren’t alone or give some kind of advice to people struggling with mental illness I want to.
The Battle Within
In 2021, Ware continued his vow. On May 13, 2021, a 13-minute documentary about the driver of the No. 51’s mental health journey premiered on NASCAR’s YouTube channel.
Ware shared he was a lonely, bullied middle schooler desperate for a group of friends that cared for him. He searched for a group of friends that could become his home, and he thought he found them.
One day, in high school, the Greensboro, North Carolina native and his friends were hanging out doing “dumb teenage stuff out in the woods.” He recalled looking at a creak and smelling something burning. He turned around to see his friends running away and realized what he smelled burning was his own skin.
Thankfully, Ware was able to roll around in the mud and the dirt to stop the fire. After this, he was frozen in fear with his legs charred off.
“Finally, one of the kids came back, I guess he felt guilty for what happened, and he ended up throwing me on his shoulder and dragging me back to his place,” Ware said, “and that’s when the pain started setting in. I remember the look in his eyes and fear in his eyes. It wasn’t guilt, it was just fear.”
“It was horrific,” Ware’s mom, Lisa, said. “I’ve never seen somebody burn the entire back of their leg off.”
When his Mom arrived, Ware truly realized the gravity of the situation.
“The moment (Mom) saw me, she started crying in a way that I’ve never seen in my life and I still, to this day, get shook by,” the North Carolina native said.
Even through the pain killers and “four or five shots of morphine”, this was the worst pain Ware felt in his entire life. The physical pain and missing activities weighed heavily, but what was heaviest was that nobody from school came to check in on him. The loneliness in those moments was what led to the first inklings of trauma setting in.
For the next couple years, Ware buried his emotions and ignored them. He found this was unsustainable longterm, as he lost the ability to trust or to show his emotions at all.
“I thought that shoving all that down and not acknowledging it would make it go away and make it heal quicker,” Ware said. “Even thinking about it was too stressful, it just hurt too much.”
Ware also started to believe that what happened to him was deserved.
“I had started hating myself so much that I felt like ‘well, maybe there is a reason why this happened. Maybe I deserved that thing that happened to me,’” Ware said.
Despite everything, the driver of the No. 51 does not hold ill will towards the people that did this to him.
“I believe in God and believe in a bigger purpose,” Ware said, “and I believe that everyone deserves to be forgiven. At the end of the day, what happened happened and people can change.”
Healing and Self Care
Through all the pain, Ware found one mechanism that truly helped him cope: Driving racecars.
“For once, all of the chatter in my head…finally turned off. When I was in the racecar, I could just focus on the task at hand,” Ware said of his first time driving legends cars at Charlotte Motor Speedway.
“He’s really at his best when he’s away from everybody and in the racecar,” team owner and father Rick Ware said.
Racing was a bandaid. It was an outlet to escape, but it would not solve Ware’s issues. In the 2017 Southern 500, the No. 51 got into a wreck with two other drivers. Afterwards, he went onto social media and posted out of of sheer rage.
“I was mad at everybody but myself,” the young racer said of the incident.
To make matters worse, Ware ended up getting kicked out of his apartment around the same time. It was this that made the North Carolina native realize that he desperately needed help. He wanted a new career as a racecar driver, but it would never come to fruition if he didn’t open up and seek out help. He asked his Mom to help him help himself, thinking that seeing a therapist was the end. But it was only the beginning.
“You have to wake up everyday to make a conscious decision to get better and to seek help,” the then 25-year old said. “On a daily basis, human interaction gets a lot easier, you have a better outlook and a mindset, and you don’t wake up in the morning with anger, hate, and resentment for who I am and what I’ve been through.”
“(Seeing the hard work pay off) doesn’t make the work easier,” Ware continued, “but it gives you that bit of motivation to keep digging.”
Looking Forward
In his healing, Ware opened up. His mission is to destigmatize athletes being open about their mental health.
“For me, what it boils down to is just giving back, it’s just trying to be a good Christian, trying to be there and be the somebody for someone else that I wish was there for me when I was going through things directly as a teenager in the first months and years after my incident,” Ware said. “I didn’t have anyone who I trusted to confide in or let be there to let them give me support. So I’m just trying to be the person that I wish was there for me when I was going through all this stuff as a teenager.
“I’m really proud of him,” Lisa said, “it’s a courageous thing to do that he’s using what he’s battled with to make a positive difference.”
“I think he can save some people’s lives,” Rick said, “and we want him to save his life too.”
Heading into Sonoma Raceway, the driver of the No. 51 sits 35th in Cup Series points. He has only one finish above 22nd this season, a 17th-place in the season opening Daytona 500. The driver of the No. 51 looks to the drafting tracks at EchoPark, Talladega, and Daytona. He has led laps in several recent drafting racing, and could secure the biggest upset in NASCAR history with a victory in one of these races.
